Volume Down: Unwanted Opinions Blocked

It seems everyone has something to say about how we should live our lives. Your career, your love life, heck, even the way you walk, talk or dress - there's always a 'well-intentioned' person eager to offer you their two cents.

But you know what? Your self-esteem? It grows when you ignore the bullsh*t and focus on yourself. Today, we're going to confront those unsolicited opinions. Allow me to share my personal experiences and show you the benefits of not giving a f*ck. 

Turn Down the Noise:

Take it from me. When I started my brand, I had more than my share of negative opinions. Even those who loved me doubted my decisions. "Too expensive," they said. "Too risky," they argued. "What's your clear plan?" they questioned. But you know what? I took the risk anyway. Why? Because I trust my gut. My hustle. My vision. It's mine, not theirs.

Play the Game, Your Way:

Dating? Don't get me started. I'm half black and half Mexican, and I've always dated outside my race. Cue the shock, the judgment, the racial nonsense. Yeah, I've heard it all. But guess what, people? It's MY love life. So, save your breath, and keep your opinions to your narrow-minded selves.

Defy, Disobey, Be the Boss:

Traveling solo? Hell yes, I did that. Everyone warned me of the worst that could happen. But I didn't listen. I ventured out, trusted my instincts, and guess what? I survived and made great friends along the way.

Embrace Your Skin:

When I finally got comfortable in my skin, stopped caring about what people thought of my body art, and started wearing whatever the hell I wanted, the comments began. "Too sexual," they said. "What's she trying to prove?" But that's the thing about being comfortable in your skin – you don't give a shit about what others think.

And let's talk about being 'too much.' Loud? HELL YES. Too much? HELL NO. There's no such thing as being too much when you're just being you.

OK! Time for some real work. I've created a guide on how not to give a shit about what people think, based on my personal experiences and what I've gathered from podcasts and books along the way. Get your pens out; it's time to take notes!

How To Ignore Unwanted Opinions:

1. Write Your Own Script: Your life is not a one-size-fits-all deal. So, script your own narrative. Go ahead, create your own rules.
2. Whip out the Ear Plugs: Repeat after me: Their opinion does not define me. Got it? Good.
3. Trust Your Gut: This one's crucial. Your gut instinct is your superpower. Tune in to it. If it says, "Take the leap," then babe, it's time to jump.
4. Set Boundaries and Mean It: It's okay to say no when you don't want to do something. Be clear with your 'yes' and 'no' - and remember, no is a complete sentence!
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself! Everyone makes mistakes and has off days. Instead of beating yourself up, try to speak to yourself like you would to a bestie!
6. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and inspire you. This energy does wonders for self-esteem.
7. Embrace Self-Care: Your physical health impacts your mental health. Regular exercise, balanced diet, adequate sleep - they all contribute to a better self-image. Treat yourself to that spa day, you deserve it!
8. Work on Self-Improvement: Always be open to learning and improving. Take a course, read a book, or pick up a new hobby!
9. Assertive is the New Sexy: Start practicing assertive communication. Speak up your mind respectfully, without aggression or passiveness. It's all about balance, babe.

Let's Break It Down:

Think : “Who am I when no is watching?”:

1. What values and beliefs define me?
2. What are the things I like to do that make me happy?
3. How does the person I show the world differ from who I am in private?
4. What steps can I take to align these two versions of myself?

Take your time with this. This exercise is not about reaching a definitive answer, but about opening the doorway to understanding yourself better. Remember, it's a no-judgment zone.

At The End Of The Day:

When you stop wearing a mask, when you refuse to pretend, you attract the right tribe. My authenticity pulled in some truly awesome people. I wasn't misunderstood anymore, and that feeling? Pure f*cking gold.

Friends that don't align with your values? Cut them loose. Stand your ground, call out the bullshit, and don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. It's YOUR life!

So what's the takeaway? Ignore the haters. Screw those unwarranted opinions. You're not a doormat, babe. You're a boss.

Until next time,

Marilyne Mendoza