Personas: Who's That Bitch?

Personas: Who's That Bitch?

Ever catch yourself being three different women in one day? I tend to be a boss at work, goddess in the sheets (I'd like to think so), and, well, a hot mess when I'm alone.

After all, to be a woman is to be a daily shape-shifter.

Women often wear many hats such as being professionals, mothers, partners, friends, and more, which can require us to adjust and "shift" our priorities and behaviors accordingly. We read the room, adapt, and serve whatever version of ourselves the situation calls for.

Let's get one thing straight: Whether I'm giving a coaching session or cracking dirty jokes, it's still all me and I'd love to dive into the multiple personas we wear, from work to the bedroom to those moments we think no one is watching and we will start with me as an example with key takeaways at the end.

At Work

I've taken control of my career and mashed up everything I love—leading, strategizing, creating and teaching—into my own empire. I'm doing it all on my own damn terms. To my creative writing students and coaching clients, I'm this tower of strength. Sometimes this is true and other days I have to wear this mask.

Takeaway: Ask yourself, are you playing a role at work that contradicts your true self? Why or why not? If yes, what's the price you're paying for this "performance"?

In Bed

In bed, I don't have a set game plan. Sometimes I lead, sometimes I follow—depends on the vibe and who I'm with. Different partners have brought out different curiosities and sides to me. Point is, I adapt. I don't necessarily need to take charge like I do at work. Life's too short for a one-size-fits-all approach, especially between the sheets. I will gladly laugh mid-orgasm and remain fluid.

Bedroom Thoughts: How much does your bedroom persona differ from your daily life? Are you more adventurous, reserved, or the same you?

Alone Time

I don’t have to ‘perform’ for anyone when I'm alone. Sometimes, it's in this solitude that all my doubts come out. I'm a chaotic mess of creativity, doubts, and I've got days where getting out of bed feels like lifting a ton of bricks. I cry, I rage, and I can get mean with the girl in the mirror.

I'm out here giving pep talks, slaying at work, and being a shoulder for everyone else. But when I'm alone? It's just me, wrestling with my own demons and insecurities.

Mirror Talk: When you're alone, how loud is your inner critic compared to your inner hype man? Got balance?

Me In Spanish

Speaking in Spanish? It's like flipping a switch—suddenly I'm oozing sex appeal and femininity. Words just roll off the tongue! It's not just the language; it's the whole culture that's vibrant, full of life. I can't quite put my finger on it, but Spanish just makes it easy to bring out my sultry side.

Side note: The 'Linguistic Relativity Hypothesis' suggests your personality can shift when you speak another language! Studies have shown that multilingual people often experience different worldviews, emotional states, and even self-perceptions when they switch languages.


Life's too damn short to be a one-trick pony. Why limit myself when I can be a boss at work, the life of the party, and a sexual chameleon, all while staying true to myself?

If you’re stuck in one persona, who’s really holding the puppet strings? Societal norms? Screw that. If you're holding back parts of yourself, ask why. Keeping it all in just robs you of a fuller life. Don't settle for half; go all in or don't bother.

Being versatile doesn't mean you're fake; it means you're a complex human with layers- you're not just one song, you're a whole fucking playlist.

Key Questions to Keep Asking Yourself:

  1. Are you wearing a mask or being your true self in each area of your life?
  2. Do societal norms shape your personas more than your own desires?
  3. Do you feel inauthentic in any of your roles? Why?
  4. What would it take for you to embrace all parts of you, no holds barred?
  5. Are your personas limiting or empowering you?

Special Shoutout

A special shoutout goes to an Artist's Assembly I attended at @studiomaxima, kickstarted by the ever-insightful Eli Bucksbaum. It was there, surrounded by artists of all walks of life, that we dug into the concept of different personas.

Sign Up For My Women's Creative Writing Class!

Join me next week for a 90-minute virtual class focused on the many facets of you. It's my Womaning 101: No BS Creative Writing class, where we'll dig into your personas at work, in private, and even in bed. Come vibe with a badass group of women as we explore the real you!

Next Week's Schedule:

  • 9/13 Wednesday: 7-8:30 PM PT
  • 9/14 Thursday: 6-7:30 PM PT

BONUS: Class comes with a 20-page printable workbook I curated just for this, 'Get Your Shit Together, Woman!'Normally $15, cost is covered in the cost of the class! I made this to continue challenging you outside of class!

🤑Class is DONATION-based. Suggested payment is $25 (covers book and class) OR pay what you can don't worry about it! Just share and repost, and bring a friend! Come with your preferred drink and I'll see you there with my cocktail and pen!

💸Payment Methods:

  • Venmo: @Marilyne-Mendoza
  • Cashapp: $MarelyneMendoza

🔗 Book Your Spot Now!

I'm out for now. If you're digging my vibe and want to see me keep elevating other artists and creating these thought provoking and community focused classes, show some love and support with a donation! Thank you so much for the support!

Until next time babies!


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